For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
