I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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