and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I FOUND THE LEGS
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
