I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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