I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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