Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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