Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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