It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wear drunk well.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
