ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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