I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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