Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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