i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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