I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
