My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
