Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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