Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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