You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
