yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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