I didn't shave. On purpose
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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