Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I came so hard my ears popped.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
