Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
