Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
