Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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