i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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