you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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