one two three fourrrrnication!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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