Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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