I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
