Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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