I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
