i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
