We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Someone signed my nipple.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
