you win again, gameday.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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