You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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