"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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