She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
