She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
