I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
