he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
