how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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