you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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