Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
