Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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