I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
