guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
