You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
