Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
