I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
