..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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