I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
