anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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