imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
