i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
