You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This girl is more easily done than said...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize