i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
