OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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