we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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